I haven’t posted in over a year and I don’t really have a real excuse for it lol I just haven’t really felt like I wanted to. It’s weird, each time I try to start something, the feeling leaves me. But anyway, I’m back.
Alhamdulillah, ALLAH has blessed us with this little miracle of life and we couldn’t be happier.
I think it’s important for me to talk about what happened at first though, because I’ve learned that this is not something women talk about. Also, I’ve come to realize that perhaps the reason I haven’t been able to write is that I wanted to talk about my experience but I just wasn’t ready yet.
On the 3rd of May, I did a pregnancy test and it was positive. I seriously could not wait for my husband to come home from work so I could tell him. I had it all planned out in my head that I would tell him in some cute way but as soon as he walked in, I just blurted it right out. We were really excited.
Then, on the 9th of May, I started bleeding. It was the scariest thing I ever experienced. My grandfather and my husband took me to the hospital where the doctor examined me and they said that I was having a threatened miscarriage. This bleeding continued for a few days and I spent most of that time in bed, crying my heart out, afraid for the baby I’d loved from the moment I knew it existed. When the bleeding stopped, we moved on with our life, thinking that the baby must have been fine as the pregnancy symptoms continued and eventually got worse as the weeks went on. I never went back to the doctor.
On the 4th of July, I went for my first scan. Before I went in and in fact before the sonographer put my scan up on the screen, I was extremely anxious because I didn’t know what to expect. She asked me how far along I was and I told her I was about 12 weeks. When she finally got the scan up, my entire body relaxed as I saw my little miracle, still looking like a bean. That’s when she said that it wasn’t possible for me to be 12 weeks, this was a perfectly healthy 8 week scan.
She advised that I must have miscarried when I bled and then 2 weeks later, I was pregnant again. I couldn’t believe it and usually, our bodies need a bit more time to get “back into the swing of things”. Clearly, ALLAH had other plans for me and He knew that I was ready to have a baby.
Because I’d cried and mourned back then already even though I wasn’t sure, I managed to “handle” this information and kind of just wanted to get to my husband and talk to him.
We spoke about it at length and we will NEVER forget our first little Bean but we knew it was important for us to move on and focus on the baby we were going to have.
When we went for the next scan and the sonographer informed us that we were having a boy, the relief on my husbands face was comical! I think he’s so afraid of having a girl!
I only really started feeling him move about 5 months in and it was always just little flutters now and then. When it became fully fledged kicks, I could not handle the excitement! No matter how many times I felt him in there, I was delighted and excited each and every time. It is one of the most amazing feelings ever and made me love being pregnant even more ( even made up for all the morning sickness – which I experienced throughout my pregnancy ).
On the 14th of January 2018, at just 8 months, I gave birth to the most beautiful and wonderful little boy any momma could ask for!