Our Little Creeper

When I got married, I didn’t just gain a husband, best friend and confidant, I also gained a son. My husbands little one – now my little one too, has crept into my heart like only a little boy can.

The first time I met him, I loved him. Merely because he is a part of Zayn – who I clearly love to bits. The more time I spent with him, the more attached I became and vice versa. It’s become a thing where he actually asks for me specifically and it really warms my heart.

But recently, its been a whirlwind of feelings. I would never force or even just mention to him that he should call me Mom, Mommy or the like but I have begun to feel like that’s how he sees me now; as a mother figure. One night after I bathed him, I was drying his hair on the bed and all of a sudden he launches himself at me, straight into my lap and lands a big kiss on my cheek. It was adorable but it caught me totally off guard. I told my husband about it later that night. Told him about how it made me feel. When Abdul Aziz shows me affection like that, I am proud of myself for the way I have handled things and my heart is rushed with emotion. It could so easily have gone a different way. I know of cases where the child resents their father’s wife but I think that usually stems from the mother’s negativity and I am lucky that throughout all our drama, his mother has been mostly okay and encourages him to have respect toward me. Maybe we’re also lucky that he’s so young and can basically grow up with me being a part of his life.

He started school a few months ago and if it was terrifying for me, I can’t imagine what his mother felt like. We joined her at the school for his first day and he looked absolutely confused and unsure but his teacher has assured us that he is doing well. I love the fact that she chose a Muslim school for him because I think that it’s so important for him to have that Islamic foundation. His teacher is wonderful and her love for “her kids”, is evident.

His most recent adorable moment would be when we took him home last weekend, he gave me the biggest hug and kiss ever and then said “I love you” in his sweet little boy voice. Once again I was caught completely off guard but of course I responded, of course I love him too.

I have always wanted to be a mother, really. And I am excited to have biological children of my own but I feel blessed and content being a mom to this little one.

Although we haven’t quite sorted out ALL the kinks with his mother, I am grateful to ALLAH for blessing me with this little man and my wonderful husband who has been the most awesome support for all that I have had to acclimate myself with.


My Not So Little Brother…


On the 29th of August 2004, my littlest brother was born. I was lucky enough to be one of the people who helped bring him into the world.

I remember that day so vividly. It was a Sunday and I had been out with my Aunt. My mom was alone at home and it was about 10am when her water broke. She called the hospital to inform them and they advised her that since the contractions were still very far apart, she could stay at home until they became more immediate. So we get home and my mom is waddling up and down as if nothing has happened. But as soon as I knew, nothing could stop my excitement. My mom however, had other plans for this baby. She wanted to keep him in there long enough to see the finale of Fame and also to taste my Aunt’s yummy supper. However, as the afternoon drew in, the pain became unbearable and she absolutely HAD to get to the hospital.

Now this part was quite comical. My late Aunt, Nina, and her ex-husband Faizel, were the ones to drive us. In his little Uno, my mom and I sat in the back while she huffed and puffed and squeezed my hand. And as luck would have it, there were roadblocks on the way there. An officer pulled us over and my poor Uncle nearly passed out with nerves for my mothers impending birth. He actually stammered and stuttered to the officer that HE was the one in labor LOL.

So we got to the hospital in time and my mom was booked in to her private room at Mowbray Maternity. My Aunt, Isobel, was the only family member in there with her. I was ushered into the waiting room, all by myself, bored as hell. I remember sitting there, watching the Olympic rhythmic gymnastics when all of a sudden, a nurse came to call me. She asked if I would like to be with my mom. There was no chance I was going to let that opportunity pass me by.

So off I went, an unsuspecting 10-year-old, excited with the prospect of seeing childbirth. Let me tell you, it is NOT a pretty sight but ALLAHU AKBAR, it is a beautiful process to behold. My mom gave birth kneeling. I sat on the bed in front of her and she held onto my legs for support. Although it was a bit scary seeing her in so much pain, I was in awe of her for her ability to bring a life into this world (of course by ALLAH’s will). The nurse asked me if I would like to see my brother being born. Naive little Layla, I went ahead and boy! it was a gruesome sight. The blood and fluids all over his little body kinda freaked me out but once he was out, the nurse asked if I would like to cut his umbilical cord and I was brave again. I was the first person-other than that nurse-to hold my little brother.

Sidenote* Isn’t childbirth amazing????? Imagine having that ability to hold another growing human being in your body for 9 months and then bringing them into the world. Imagine the strength of a woman to be able to endure that? I think it’s fascinating and proves women to be waaaayyy more superior than men!

Anyway, I got to sleep at the hospital with them and had to focus so hard on not rolling over in my sleep lol and the next day we went home. To a 10-year-old, having a little brother was simply intoxicating. It was like a real life doll that I could play with and naturally my motherly instincts began to develop. My mother went back to work after only two weeks of maternity leave and when I was home, I would look after him. I became quite adept at being a little mommy. Changing nappies, making bottles and hushing him to sleep.


(Those are all older pics)

I’ve always thought that my being there and being the one to care for him in my mom’s absence is what’s created this bond and close relationship between us. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge my mom for going straight back to work. She’s a strong, independent, single mother who did what was necessary for her kids and I will always admire her for that.

I always joke now that although I do not have children of my own just yet, I’ve already developed mommy skills. I absolutely cannot wait be a mother one day. People say that being pregnant and giving birth will change my mind but InShaALLAH, I want at least five children. But then again, only God can plan.